In January, 2021, I got word that I had been approved as an “essential caregiver.”  As long as I provided the results of weekly PCR tests, I could arrange visits in the lobby.  Seeing David comforted me.  Between visits, however, I still couldn’t reach him by phone.  At David’s request, I bought him a cell phone, something that had little chance of helping.  His cell phones had confounded him for five years by then, so I got an inexpensive phone and a pay-as-you-go card.  The phone went to the laundry in a pocket.  Agitated, then tumbled, it came out clean, dry, and unusable.  

David now had a private room, but the WiFi system failed so frequently that our electronic device kept going offline.  I sent yet another message to the director of the nursing home outlining yet again the problems with the phone system and WiFi.  If the problem couldn’t be resolved, I said, I was considering contacting the media or my ombudsman.  He replied that the WiFi system was “complimentary,” and if I wanted more reliable service I should pay for WiFi in David’s room.  He also objected to my “intimidating” plans for contacting the media or ombudsman and reproached me for failing to focus on all that the facility did well.

Feb. 25, 2021

Dear [nursing home director],

Thank you for the message.  I’m grateful for everything that ————- does well. 

Thanks, too, for the attachment and the reminder that the WiFi is a complimentary service.

Unfortunately, if the staff in the memory care are reporting accurately, the phone system depends on the WiFi.  If that’s the case, reliable phone service at ————– depends on reliable internet.

I have tried hard to solve the communication problem on my own while reporting the frustrations (beginning in October, when David moved to —————). 

I bought David a cell phone, as I’ve reported to you, but the staff laundered it on the second day.  I found that out only by asking repeatedly what had happened to it. While neither the phone nor the service was expensive, I’m reluctant to keep spending money on service and phones after that experience.  In any case, a cell phone for someone in memory care is hardly an ideal solution. 

I provided the —— device. It works when the internet works.  As you note, I could pay for WiFi for David’s room — but I don’t have access to David’s room and wouldn’t be able to reconnect the device if the power blinks or some other glitch arises. 

The essential point is that we wouldn’t need a cell phone or depend on the device if the phone system were reliable and the phone (internet) signal extended to David’s room.  I’m sure we agree that he (or any resident) should be able to talk on the phone in a setting where people are not screaming in the background. 

So: I’m seeking a solution to a phone problem that I’ve been reporting since October, several months and many thousands of dollars ago. 

As for the ombudsman or media, my aim is not intimidation.  I’m frustrated and baffled.  Reporting the problem has achieved nothing (as far as I can tell). 

If there’s a plan in place to solve the problem, please let families know that. 

The phone and internet service improved.  Morning calls on the electronic device let us clap eyes on each other, and David experienced those calls as visits — he would often ask me to hand him a cup of water or help him make up the bed.